I have finally come to terms with 2005

2005 was a turbulent year for me. It really should not have been. It's not like anything incredibly traumatic happened but, I was an emotional roller coaster. I am happier and more stable in January 2006 than I was in January 2005. A series of events (or non events) took place which put a large barrier between a very close group of friends of mine. I would never call the rift or drama ugly but it was hurtful. In the beginning I felt the loss of time I was experiencing with my friends was the end all. I was completely miserable. I lost sleep. I lost weight. All I could think about was this mess of a group of friends I had. I think it took more of a toll on me then most anyone around me realizes, or maybe not.

The old saying goes "Time heals all wounds." As simple as those words are, as simple as that phrase may sound; there was a time when I would not have believed it. There are times when I feel like I acted a fool, and I did. The whole experience has made me realize that I am still discovering who I am and I will probably never figure it out and that’s ok.

I had a heartfelt conversation with two close friends the other night who were privy to the situation and what we all decided was you can't regret knowing anyone. Every person that enters your life changes it, even those people that seem minor. You become the person you are because of the experiences you've had and the people you have been exposed to. And that I cannot regret.

I don't know if the rift will ever disappear. It would be nice to see everyone get along again, and in my dreams I wish we all could be a good group of friends again.